Day 5

To be read while listening to Pelo Negro by Tosca Tango Orchestra

What if you wake up and realize that your life was just the first act in a symphony and every note was a decision that should be made and sometimes it was right and sometimes it was wrong and they molded who you are and you feel like the whole world is riddled with paranoia and anxiety and you feel like your life was the fast part of a tango right after the lover's quarrel and doesn't matter how softly the piano plays you still know that what you had is gone forever and won't ever be the same just like that feeling of security you had when you were a kid listening to the beach boys on the radio and imagining lands far and beyond where the sun shined 24/7 non stop forever and nobody wanted to chase you down and harm you or call you bad names or admit to you that they love your sister more than you and that your whole existence was a mistake and what if you decided that all that abuse was enough and bought a shotgun from that weird guy that used to hang around school and took it home and while you were figuring how to use you almost shot off your foot and you had a big hole on the floor and what if somebody heard the noise and came up and you jumped out of the window and ran as far as you could so that the bullets wouldn't find you and what if you your life was misery after that until you found someone who showed you were to get the best free food in town and what if she was a really kind soul and was too scared to understand what love was but you said it anyway and she replied and what if all that happened before was just a really fucked up dream and what if you would just wake up?